it's amazing how a TRUTH so obvious could've gone hidden from me for so long. . . it seems that there is a reason that my bio-chem carreer in undergrad was doomed from the start: the SCIENCE was all based on LIES.
a man named Bobby Henderson has enlightened me to HIS EVERSAUCY HOLINESS: The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
i now know that FSM has created all things in his ever-loving kindness, and that all so-called study of biology, physics, chemistry, and math is a sham. i know now that in order not to incur His vengeful wrath, we must not rest until His TRUE SCIENCE of the universe is taught in all our schools. Bobby the Prophet has said it best:
"Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him."
now that i have seen the TRUTH, my life will never be the same, and i cannot stop riding the scent of his garlicky goodness to eternal SALVATION.
you can also become enlightened at: Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
and remember: don't rest until we reach the time "when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."
3 comments:
Jacob- I am really dissappointed that you have given Henderson so much air-time. He's a total discredit to the FSM movement in his wild-ass assumptions of a patriarchal diety. True believers know that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a woman.
i use "He" and "Him" and "His" merely as a convenient translation from His TRUE Greatness into our insufficient language. i know that TRULY speaking, he is much more than either male OR female. to use "It" would just be insulting.
Weird... I only just yesterday heard about FSM. And now, it's all over the place. Under what rock have I been hiding???
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